CONVERSATION 1

You wish a pause in our conversation,

For a brief period,

Do you know what that implies?

That means you wish,

A gardener to remain away from his flower,

A bee to stop gathering honey for some days,

A poet to remain away from his pen for a period.

I know the sorrow of detachment,

From you for a few seconds is heavier,

Than the heaviest mountain of the earth.

Still I agree with a smile,

Do you know why?

I cannot let any wish of yours remain unfulfilled,

For me my happiness is always secondary.

Moreover, my love for you is,

A firm, serene, sober and smooth flow,

Independent of period, events and individuals.

I know what will happen,

During this gap of communication.

As an ocean goes deeper going away from shore,

The sky goes wider going away from the earth,

My heart will become keener in you,

And hold you closer with more enthusiasm in it.

My devotion will becomes deeper,

And more vibrant in this detachment.

My pen will paint you with more thick pink ink in my poems.

YOUR EYES

I do not ever see you fully,

As whenever we meet,

My eyes get tangled,

In the labyrinth of your vast eyes,

I fail to see anything beyond them.

You would ask me,

How is it possible?

I do not have a clue,

To satisfy you,

But it’s true.

As I travel in them,

I visualize a thousand varied dreams,

Many of them coincide mine ones,

Appealing me to participate and encourage

In their fulfillment.

I witness a huge thirst in them,

To become someone’s own,

To get one honest and selfless love,

I decide to give that divine gift,

To you as per my capabilities.

I identify in your eyes,

Two vast oceans of knowledge in their glory

Huge tides of wisdom striking their coasts,

I decide to have a permanent stay there,

To collect some pebbles for my life,

Drink some drops for my existence.

LET ME LEAVE

After your abrupt departure,

When the uncontrollable pain of my interior,

Compels me to expose its disorder,

Reluctantly, I knock your door.

My heart takes me to your door,

Even against the counsel of my conscience,

As it does not know to expose,

Near anyone other than you.

A guilty feeling creeps into my mind,

As I do so against my conscience,

As it is against the idealistic norms,

With which I lived all my life.

I realize, as long as I am here,

I can't control my core,

And disobey its orders,

Of reaching your door.

Death is no more painful,

Than to live against one’s own ideology,

                                                         Than to live with a guilty feeling,

Than to live inhuman.

Hence, it is better;

I should leave the earth,

With my head high,

Leaving you to live at peace.

स्वच्छंद प्रेमाश्रु

गरज से अरज करने नहीं आए हें तेरे मंदिर  हम,

 मन पडा तो बैठ गए तेरी चौखट पर दो दम। 

तेरे बगैर हम कुछ भी नहीं, जब यह सोच मन को आ गयी,

पिघल कर सारा दंभ दो नदी बन कर आँखों से  बह गयी। 

इन आँसुओं को दर्द का बहाव न समझ लेना कहीं,

स्वच्छंद  प्रेमाश्रु  हें ये मेरा इन पर कोई जोर नहीं। 

दर्द में दम कहां था  जो तेरे चरऩाश्रित को रूला दें,

कोई दुःख समर्थ कहां था जो तेरे शरणागत को छुं भी लें। 

संसार में जीवन, है तो नहीं कोई सपाट सफर,

जो मैं रो पडूं किसी असमतल राह से डर कर। 

 यह कोई गुलाव की सेज भी नहीं जो मैं करूं इसकी आस,

 कांटे से घायल हो कर  शिकायत करूं तेरे पास। 

तुम अंतर्यामी हो मेरी हर जरूरत को जान लेते हो,

बिन मांगे मन की हर मुराद को तुम मान लेते हो। 

क्या देता मैं तुझको,सब है तेरा, बस यही है मेरा, इसे करो स्वीकार,

सागर से गहरे, सूरज से तेज,आसमान से उँचे है ये मेरे नयन नीर। 

SUICIDE

Dishearten by something or someone,

You decide to put an end to your journey.

My ignorant being wishes to show you,

The sequence of events that is going to take place,

When you insult the precious gift of god, your life.

The sun will rise tomorrow in its time;

To spread its golden beams for everyone except you.

The earth will run its usual business,

As none of them will be paralyzed in your absence.

People will throng in front of your home,

Some will show sympathy saying “uff”,” ahah”.

Some will weave stories and spread rumors,

About your sudden departure from the earth,

You know positives do not come easily to human minds,

To your discontentment, the rumors will be negative and offensive.

Law enforcement authorities will postmortem your body,

And interrogate your loved ones up to the level of harassment.

Story of a cowardice end to a beautiful life

Will adorn the rear page of the local newspapers.

Despite all these truths, if you still wish to commit suicide,

Then will you answer a few queries of this stupid man?

Will you say what you brought along here when you had arrived,

That you feel is snatched, stolen, or broken by the earth?

After which attainment, what much wealth, fame, love,

You would say to yourself “Yes, I get all that I wish”

“Thanks god, thank you folks I want no more?”

Do you have a roof over your sky of want?

You loved someone, remained honest, truthful,

But he/she failed to turn as per your expectations,

Became ungrateful, did not read you,

Misunderstand your wholesomeness, is it the cause?

Can the wavelength of two minds remain synchronized always?

Parents breed their offspring for a quarter century,

Their birds fly away leaving them in old age homes,

Do you think your situation is worse?

Are you ignorant that a human tree seldom yields a fruit of nectar?

The truth is that we come crying, hungry,

Do our level best to reach nowhere,

Go empty handed,

Remain thirsty due our ignorance,

Some of us leave some good marks on the soil,

Some others leave some dark spots of their presence,

What mark will you leave to represent your being by this act?

Yesterday while I was going to the market I saw a crowd in front of a house, I stopped my bike and got to know that a young woman committed suicide. I get shocked. She must be a daughter to someone like me. I wrote this. 

FLOW OF A RIVER

 Observing from the bank, the calm flow of the river,

If you assume it to be beautiful, perfect and proper,

Then it will be a blunder on your part,

One misjudged concept.

If you wish to see the reality of the world,

Under that pleasant panorama of the flowing liquid,

Get down with a great heart into it,

And witness how the life inside is at unrest,

One lives preying on the other,

One dies giving life to another,

Amidst a current much faster than the one on the surface,

 Crueler than the one you can assess.

My life too is like that splendid flow of the river,

You cannot judge it honestly from afar,

From my humble deeds, from my polished social behavior,

And reach the conclusion that everything fine here.

If you are a seeker of the truth of my life,

You need to shoulder a huge stride,

Of diving down into my heart,

To visualize how many dreams die in it before they sprout,

 What I pray for, what for myself I wish,

How much I cry, what much I compromise.

How tiny is the bowl of my expectations,

How small is the circle of my satisfaction.  

The river absorbs all her turbulence in her greatness,

On the contrary, I gulp my tears in my insignificance.

EYE-WATER

I approached a drifting dry cloud,

That was hovering over my head.

Filled fully her empty pitcher,

With my overflowing eye-water.

Appealed her,“Go and drench my sweetheart,

Titillate her soul and fill it with fun and excitement.”

“Be careful not to make the blunder,

Of showering lightning and thunder.

I will not allow you to cause a situation of horror

In her innocent and delicate core.”

“Do not let her know that it is my hot tears,

Cool it before you rain with your freezing air.

If she inquires about the salinity of your shower,

For my sake, mislead her that it is pure seawater."

“If she knows the truth, she will not enjoy your rain,

Take care, make oath not to let my effort go in vain.

I know she will still identify it as my eye-water,

Tell her, I am a swindler and I do not cry for her. ”

“If you fall short or get dry; then come back to me,

I will fill your container; once more, I have plentiful in me.”

If her boat of pleasure floats smoothly on my flow of tears,

Then there will be no scarcity of tears in me and pleasure for her.

नेत्रजल

मैं पकड लाया अपने सर पर मँडराता एक आवारा सूखा बादल,

भर दिआ उसके खाली उदर में अपना खालिस नेत्रजल। 

कहा "जाओ भीगोदो मेरे महबूबा के उपवन को,

पल्लवित कर दो उसको, उनके खूबसूरत मन को। 

मगर होशियार गर्जन या बिजली भूल से न गिराना,

उनके नाजुक दिल को तनिक भी न डर जाने देना। 

उनको न कहना की ये मेरे आँसू है.कहीं सुन कर वे रो न लें,

अपनी हवा से शीतल कर देना उनके यहां बरसने से पहले। 

पहचान तो लेंगे वे मेरे नेत्रजल को मगर उनको तुम भुला देना,

समंदर का है, तभी नमकीन है उनका नहीं, वो तो बेवफा है कह देना। 

कम पडजाए, खाली हो जाओ तो वापस यहां आ जाना,

भर दूंगा फिर से तेरे घडे को उन को कमी नहीं होने देना।" 

ढेर दिन से गए हें, उनको एक टक देखने को मेरे नैन तरसते हें,

उनके आवन के चाहत से ये नादान  दिनरात बरसते हें। 

CONVERSATION

After so many days, I call you,

Two calls remain unanswered,

In the third one you take a few seconds,

To convey that you are busy,

I get my insulin for one more day.

Do you know how significant,

Are those few seconds, those few words,

The honey of your voice for me?

No!

Then ask the one who gets a loaf of bread,

After a starvation of a few days.

Ask him who lost his way in a desert,

And reaches an oasis unexpectedly,

By the virtue of his good luck,

When his courage is about to exhaust.

Your words were no less than,

That loaf of bread,

More vital than,

That piece of good luck, 

For your crazy adorer.

Today your few words satisfied,

My desire to have a conversation,

In another day hours of our sweet exchange of soul,

Leaves my wish to talk unfulfilled.

Love is really a strange thing,

At times, a single droplet fulfills the thirst,

The other day, an ocean leaves thirsty.

MY CONFUSION

First time I see someone who ignores my beauty,

And shows interest in the fragrance of my soul,

I become confused if is it a beauty of his persona,

Or it is his shrewd delusive efforts to influence me.

Otherwise, how can a man be so different from the trend?

He frankly appreciates my good works,

And mercilessly criticizes whatsoever he thinks wrong,

Without bothering about my reactions,

And the consequences of our friendship.

More confusions in my mind,

If he is a mere stupid stuff that does not know,

Women like appreciation and hate disapproval,

Or he is a real honest man.

Wounded by his thorny words of criticism,

I shouted at him and closed my doors for him,

But in my calm hour whenever I look through the peephole,

I see him smiling holding a bouquet of rose,

As if nothing bitter had happened between us.

Again, I get confused if he is a madman,

Or it is his deep devotion that makes him so humble.

Otherwise, it is simply unbelievable,

That the flame of love can be so cool,

Even in detachment.

I began to fear myself,

How can I control my heart from being affected,

By his so humble drift of affection?

What makes me see him time and again,

I am confused yet again,

Am I in love?

Or it is a simple curiosity in me,

To know him more and more.

But there is no confusion about the fact that,

I lived all life as my brain guided,

First time I want to live as my heart persuades.

Even though I assume him mad and absurd,

 I like his attitude.

A SINNER OF PIOUS THOUGHTS

I do not write poems,

I do not have that poetic sagacity as you,

I do not have a flight of imagination as yours,

I honestly scribble the things going on in my mind.

My words and I never part,

They do not deceive me,

I do not deceive them.

I do not have many definitions of love,

When I say I love fish,

I do not mean I want to eat them,

Rather, I mean I want to see them,

Float free in the aquatic world.

When I say I love you,

I do not mean I desire you,

Or I want you in my arms,

Rather, I mean I respect you from my core,

I worship your person,

I nurture you in me.

If in spite of this truth you think,

 I am wrong,

When I say " I love you"

You can call me a sinner,

  I am proud to be,

A sinner of pious thoughts for you.

मैं कुछ भी नहीं हुं

न मीरा की लगन है,

तेरे प्रेम के सागर में खो जाउँ। 

और न राधा सा प्रेमी हूँ,

सब भूल कर तेरा हो जाउँ।  

न मेरी आस्था द्रौपदी सी है,

मुसीबत में तेरे साथ मिल जाए। 

और न मैं मासूम ध्रुव सा भगत हूं,

तेरा आशीष हर हाल मिल जाए। 

न मेरा वह कर्म है,

कि तुझे पास पा जाउँ। 

और न मुझ में वह धर्म है,

कि तेरा आशीष पा जाउँ। 

न मेरी भक्ति में वह शक्ति है,

कि तेरे दया का साया मिल जाए,

और न मेरे कर्म में वह पुण्य है,

कि तेरे हृदय में एक जगह मिल जाए। 

मैं कुछ भी नहीं हुं,

बहुत कुछ की आस कर रहा हूं

बूंद से कम हूं ,

सागर के दिल में जगह की तलाश कर रहा हूं। 

कान्हा,मुझे दो वही जिसके मैं लायक हूं,

और वह जो तेरे दिल के माफिक हो। 

कहो कृष्ण

बन कर धूल मैं यशोदा के आँगन की,

तेरे अंग अंग लिपट जाना चाहती हूं। 

खिल  कर फूल मैं नंद के उपवन में ,

तेरे गले में माला बन सज जाना चाहता हूं। 

बन कर आँसू मै राधा के नयनन का,

तेरे मन को भिगो देना चाहता हूं। 

बन कर पानी मैं यमुना के बहाव का,

तेरे चरणों को धो देना चाहता हूं। 

बन कर हवा मैं गोवर्धन पहाड की,

वृन्द में ठहराव करना चाहता हूं। 

बन कर मनमोहक मोर पंख,

मैं तेरे शिखर में शोभा पाना चाहता हूं। 

मैं तेरा दास हूं, तेरे चरण के आस में हूं ,

हर हाल तेरे पास रहना चाहता हूं,

कहो कृष्ण क्या शरण दोगे ?

THE NAUGHTY CLOUD

The unseasonal cloud,

Flew out of the sky,

Without delivering a single drop.

It reminded me,

Of your dark locks,

And their hovering over my face.

The naughty cloud,

Returned to cover my eyelids,

And began a torrential rain from my eyes.

The fire of detachment,

Which was burning slowly inside,

Flared up uncontrollably.

I ducked my head under the pillow,

To prevent the secrecy of the flare,

From reaching the neighborhood.

But the flame melted,

The iceberg of my core,

And began to flow out abundantly.

The fluid took shape of two rivers,

Entered the neighborhood,

Awoke them from the deep slumber,

Of my untold story.

Helplessly I glanced,

Through the window towards the sky,

That was pregnant again,

To aggravate my concern.

क्या आप जानते हें कैसे?

दिन-रात आंसुओं के अथाह सागर में डूब कर,

ले आया आपके लिए खुशियों के मोतिओं का उपहार।

दुःख की घनघोर अंधेरी राह में हम निरंतर चलते रहे,

मगर आपके होठों पर मुस्कान हम बराबर बिखेरते रहे।

अकेलेपन के पहाड़ की दुर्गम खड़ी चढ़ाई पर भी,

मेरी कविता बिखेरती गयी आपकी उपासना की सुरभि।

हम झुलसते रहे अलगाव के गर्म रेगिस्तान में जब,

तनिक भी नहीं मुरझाया आप पर मेरी आस्था का गुलाब।

अवसाद के प्रतिकूल प्रवाह में, मैं छटपटाता रहा,

फिर भी मेरा  नजरिया सकारात्मक बना रहा ।

नियति के दिए हुए  नारकीय दिनों को ढोते हुए ,

हम सौम्यता ओ मानवता के पथ पर अडिग रहे।

कैसे हुआ यह सब क्या आप जानते हें?

कैसे किया मैं यह करतब क्या आप समझते हें?

एक शानदार,अनुपम,सकारात्मक,आतंरिक प्रवाह है, प्रेम;

प्रवाहमान मनुष्य के व्यक्तित्व में निखार लाता है, प्रेम।

सच्चा प्रेमी, मुस्कान के साथ दर्द का जहर पीता जाता है,

उसी मुस्कान के साथ आनंद की अमृतधारा वहाता जाता है।